SAMPLE FROM BOOK ONE "LOOKING THROUGH THE MIRRORS OF ME"

All these fears about what is going to happen now. Will my hubby stay, and if he does will he trust me? Will he always think I am up to something? What if he stays and then all of a sudden he can’t do this anymore? What happens then? But who am I to ask these questions? Look what I did! If he leaves, do I deserve it? Yes! Because look what I did! Why should he stay? He is an awesome man who has never hit me, disrespected me, or caused me any harm. Even down to the end, he tried to make it work. He begged me not to leave. Told me if I left, it would only make things worse, but my pride was in the way, and I was so defensive. I took up for them; no one could talk about them because I would snap. It is sad to know you are doing wrong, but what is sadder is to know, and when people tell you, you want to fight them and get mad at them. That is where I was before leaving. No one was going to ruin me being happy, and I knew I was wrong, but you are not going to tell me that. Pride brings about a hard fall because everything came apart. I hated myself for what I had become, but like I said, no one could tell me nothing. So here I am back at home, trying to put back the pieces of this puzzle, but they are all shattered every where. Nothing is together, and there is nothing I can do about it at all. Funny because Kaleda always had it figured out but not this time. I feel lost and hopeless, but I had to trust God and know he would work it out. Now by this time, it’s around September and he is gone to Texas for a week alone. All kinds of thoughts go through my head. Is he meeting another woman? Will he tell his mom what happened? What will she say? What will his sister say? Will he cheat on me? The nerve, right? But all these thoughts are going through my head. I just do not know what to do or what to think. Why is he going now? I asked him, and he said he needed to get away, but I did not buy it all, but he left anyways.